Crescent City Sucks

even on a good day...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Check ID and Intuition at the Door

I carded a guy today. He was buying cigarettes and he looked really young, so I asked to see some identification.
“Dude, I’m like twenty-four...” he said.
“How I am supposed to know that?” I asked. “Show me your ID and I won’t ever ask you for it again.”
“Man, I don’t have it on me. I buy smokes here all the time. Dennis knows me.” he pleaded.
I turn my head to the backroom and yell, “Hey Dennis, is this guy eighteen?”
Dennis lumbered to the check stand. “Yeah, he’s cool”
At this point, the customer is pissed. Having been verified as a legitimate cigarette buyer, he assumes a self-righteous air and is annoyed at my interrogation. I attempt to lighten the mood.
“Well, you’re really aging well.” I wise-crack.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he responded angrily, snatching the cigs from the counter-top. I had to stop myself from breaking out in laughter. As I rang up the transaction, he’s already halfway out the door.
“It’s meant as a compliment. It means that you look younger than you actually are.” I can’t believe that I have to explain this.
The angry idiot long gone, and Dennis emerged again from the bowels of the market.
“That guy is an asshole.” he said. “The other day he was in here and when I looked up, he had his hands around his girlfriend’s throat and was choking her.” Having shared this, Dennis walked back to whatever he was doing before.
I stood there and wondered what I would have done had I witnessed the assault, and realized that I had a right to be suspicious of him. My intuition was screaming at me, and I wasn’t listening.


At 5/17/2005 05:01:00 AM, Blogger Darius Torque said...

Don't give up hope!!!

Dude, chill out and keep publishing!

First of all I recommend you purchase/rent/steal a copy of the seminal work "Clerks" and/or the cartoon series of the same name!

It's from the guys who made 'Mallrats' and, although in black and white, concerns the troubles of Dante a guy who works at a 'convenience store' in New Jersey.

You are not alone...and it should give you a much needed laugh!

The public suck! Everyone who has ever dealt with them knows that (in a past life I worked the ticket counter in a suburban commuter train station).

Chin-up and try and post some of the real wierd stuff that happens (as well as work on your get-the-hell-out-of-here-plan!. So IF you are fired for blgging, you smile with relief and look her in the eye and whisper lovingly to her with absolute sincerity 'Thank God!!' I am free!!)

At 5/17/2005 05:45:00 AM, Blogger michael said...

Thanks. I saw clerks when it came out in theatres years ago and loved it. Somebody actually came into the store and said I reminded her of Dante - I think she was trying to diss me. But I should rent it again; it's always a source of inspiration for the faceless masses toiling away in shitty retail jobs.


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